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Career coaching by lindsay Gordon

A Life of Options

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It’s Not Fine

January 31, 2020 Lindsay Gordon
Photo by Raychan on Unsplash.

Photo by Raychan on Unsplash.

There are two words that potential clients share with me over and over again that I’m getting very tired of hearing. 

Those two words are “it’s fine”.

AKA, the international sign for “it’s not fine”. 

I get to hear the most intimate challenges that people experience and all the ways that their life is not working for them:

  • They haven’t made social plans in 2 years in case work needs them

  • They’re unable to be emotionally present with their family and sacrifice time with their spouse and children

  • They can’t sleep

  • They find themselves constantly crying in yoga

  • They only take options that look good externally even though it causes them intense anxiety

  • They’ve been coasting or spinning their wheels for decades

But in the end there’s something that takes over them and glosses over everything that they’ve just shared. You know what, “it’s fine” they say.

Hold on a minute, is that fine?!?

You don’t have endless time and your life is passing you by. 

It’s incredibly serious for me because I work with clients in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who are still stuck on a path they didn’t choose and aren’t making the impact they want to in this world. I talk to potential clients who are miserable and then hear from them two years down the road and nothing has changed.

Don’t tell me it’s fine. This is your life. 

Yes, it takes courage to see what you’re tolerating and make a different choice. You can’t solve a problem you’re not willing to have. But really, what are you tolerating? The more honest you can be with yourself about what you’re tolerating in your life, the more agency you have to address the problem.

“The degree to which a person can grow is in direct proportion to the amount of truth that he can accept about himself without running away” - Leland Val Van de Wall

If you find yourself saying “it’s fine”, try on “this is unacceptable” instead and then see if it lights a fire under you to do something about it.

← 5 Questions to Ask Yourself for More Confidence and Self-CompassionThe Game of NOs →

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